The Personalities

The Personalities

There are a lot of strange people in Boulder. Arguably, the most peculiar emerge from the woodwork on Wednesday night to celebrate BNO. Here are some of the people you might encounter on a dark and stormy Humpday:



Our gold standard waitress. Last we heard, Amy was in Africa studying mountain gorillas. O ye happy primates.



Backgammon plays backgammon at Trident with a joie de vivre that is simultaneously frightening and awe-inspiring. If everyone could enjoy life a tenth as well as she, the world would be a happier place.


Biker Guy

Biker Guy shows up at BookEnds Cafe on a regular basis, wearing a green nylon jacket, a helmet, a rear-view mirror attached to his glasses, and of course, a bicycle. He must have a pulse in the low 40s, and cholesterol lower than that.



A guy with a coloring book in the middle of BookEnds Cafe. D sat next to him, and the guy glared at us. We decided he was trying to pick up chicks.



A bald guy typing on his laptop, working on something called "Achieving Full Consciousness." Probably struggling with a sleep disorder.



Double-Braided-Beard Guy. We see them occasionally.



Some guy pontificating about Boulder (its customs, venues, and various other topics), to a captive audience of two, who had chosen BookEnds Cafe for a quiet cup of joe, but who unfortunately asked for directions or something from this self-proclaimed expert. Thankfully, we haven't seen him in a while.



Megan once announced our arrival at Old Chicago on the PA system: "S and D are here. S and D have arrived." When she turned 21, Megan got utterly wasted and was never heard from again.


Real Estate

This guy arrived on the scene in 2018, bellowing for half an hour at Trident about the art of making money with real estate. Buy low, sell high.



Who can forget her greeting of "Hi Guys" when we entered the coffee shop?



A pair of students at Bookends Cafe, looking befuddled as they discussed whether the past tense of seek is seeked. We intervened, and saved their semester.



Overheard from students near the Physics building, amid a flurry of wet snowflakes: "If you sniff a snowflake, it's like you're getting high." Whoa.


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