The Personalities

The Personalities

There are some strange people in Boulder, even on Humpday. Here are some of the characters you might encounter on a dark and stormy Wednesday:


Our gold standard waitress. Last we heard, Amy was studying mountain gorillas in Africa. O ye happy primates.


Backgammon plays backgammon at Trident with inspiring joie de vivre. If everyone could enjoy life a tenth as well as she, the world would be a happier place.

Biker Guy

Biker Guy wears a green jacket, a helmet, and a rear-view mirror attached to his glasses. We assume he has a bicycle somewhere, but we’ve never seen it.


A guy with a coloring book in the middle of BookEnds Cafe. D sat next to him, and the guy glared at us. We decided he was trying to pick up chicks.


A bald guy typing something on his laptop called "Achieving Full Consciousness." We think he had a sleep disorder.


Double-Braided-Beard Guy. We see them occasionally.


Some guy pontificating about Boulder (its customs, venues, and various other topics), to a captive audience of two, who had chosen BookEnds Cafe for a quiet cup of joe, but who unfortunately asked for directions or something from this self-proclaimed expert. Thankfully, we haven't seen him in a while.


Megan once announced our arrival at Old Chicago on the PA system: "S and D are here. S and D have arrived." When she turned 21, Megan got utterly wasted and was never heard from again.

Real Estate

This guy arrived on the scene in 2018, bellowing for half an hour at Trident about the art of making money with real estate. Buy low, sell high.


Who can forget her greeting of "Hi Guys" when we entered the coffee shop?


Students at Bookends Cafe, befuddled about the past tense of seek. We helped them out, and thereby saved their semester.


Students in a snowstorm near the Physics building: "If you sniff a snowflake, it's like you're getting high." Whoa.


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